story idea

So I had this on my computer for a while. No idea where it came from or anything, but I had it entitled "future story!!" So I thought I'd write up a little excerpt of what might be going on... Tell me what you think.

...She ran through the night, frightened. The cold air blew right through her thin nightgown, painfully tickling her skin. Her bare feet splashed through the muddy grounds and her hair started coming undone from the run.
But she had to run. She had to flee that castle where they stood in the shadows, waiting to take her. They were everywhere, haunting from the darkest places in the rooms. They made her skin crawl, her heart clench, her knees tremble.
The moment she had felt something tightening around her leg that night, she knew she had to flee. When she'd burned the candle with fumbling fingers, the feeling disappeared and she stood and ran.
The forest was nearing on her. She knew she should be even more frightened by the dark, unknowns of that cloaked place, but at that moment it seemed like a haven. She flew within its confusing bounds, jumping at every rustle of the leaves or sound of an insect.
But the forest was even worse than the open air.
She knew immediately that something was very close behind her, trying to keep up with her quick footsteps. Her heart raced faster than it ever had and her mind whirled in intangible confusion and fear. She wanted to cry, scream, shriek, but her throat was blocked by the very fright that made her want to do the former.
And then the worst thing imaginable happened.
As she ran through a heavily wooded area, her foot caught on a hidden tree root, and she started to fall. The world stopped spinning then as a frightening darkness started seeping in from all around. She was going to die. She was going to be captured by whatever was haunting her, and she was going to fall into a terrifying darkness forever.
She cringed as a hand went under hers. She looked up, realizing that her eyes had shut in anticipation. The moonlight struck them with its brightness, and she realized she was now kneeling in front of a man. He was dressed in full armor and his face was unbelievably beautiful and kind. He held her hand lightly, put enough to help her stand. Was he going to help her? Her heart slowed in hope and she grasped the hand tighter.
But on closer look, she knew he was not going to help her.
"Finally," he said in a low whisper. He tightened his hold on her hand so she could not run and mumbled a few words in a language she did not understand.
And then everything went dark.


MizzJ said...

Woah crazy... what happens next?!

Btw, thanks for visiting my blog :)

Diana said...

Yes, what happens next?!

Flashes of Style said...

This is wonderful! You are a great writer :)

Shopaholic said...

Wow! it's really beautiful, i envy you, i'm a disaster in writting anything...